


All Of Us Everywhere

by Gracesgirl



Category: Carol (2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:01:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23666539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gracesgirl/pseuds/Gracesgirl
Summary: Carol and Therese pay a visit to dear friends Alicia and Elaine.
Relationships: Carol Aird/Therese Belivet
Comments: 29
Kudos: 22





	All Of Us Everywhere

**Author's Note:**

> A dear friend encouraged me to post this. It is a reflection of my own spiritual journey in recent weeks and in many ways, a love letter.

Elaine looked with satisfaction at her breakfast table, laid out and waiting for three dear friends to join her there.She had gone out early and snipped a handful of yellow and white daffodils.They graced the center of the table, spring’s first offerings in a simple white vase.Her placemats were white, too, and she’d used her finest china.The classic design was a pink and pale green floral pattern, and she thought the whole setting was pleasing to the eye.

The silver-haired woman chuckled to herself.“Maggie, you’d be so proud of me, darling.The table looks so lovely, just as you’d want it!I know, it’s taken me a while to master this, but I’m a simple country girl at heart.,” she murmured.That she still spoke aloud to her dead partner didn’t seem strange to Elaine.Maggie had been gone for years now, but her presence was still palpable around their ancient dining room table.

Especially so now, she thought, with Maggie’s sister, Alicia, in the house.The elderly nun had been with her for several weeks now, recuperating from a nasty fall that had left her with a concussion and broken ankle.The three of them had shared many meals at this very same table over the years, and memories played on a screen in her mind.It was like watching a movie, a poignant, happy, sad, and deeply meaningful story that would forever be theirs.Elaine sighed.She was still a bereaved woman, but a very grateful one, too.

Jolting herself back to the present with a shake of her head, she turned toward the kitchen.The scent of fresh-baked apple cinnamon muffins was an enticing assault to the senses, and Elaine picked up her potholders.She had no sooner set the steaming, golden-brown pastries to cool on the counter when she heard the knock at the side door.

She smiled in anticipation, opening the door with a smile that lit her deep blue eyes, twinkling now like twin stars.“Hello!Hello!” she cried, her heart warming with love at the sight of Carol and Therese.With answering smiles, the two women began talking in unison.

“Elaine!It’s so good to see you!”

“Hello back to you!It’s lovely to be here!”Some of the words were muffled in hugs; long, warm hugs that spoke of love and friendship, joy and anticipation.

Carol looked elegant as always—tall and blond, her flawless complexion kissed pink by spring’s chilly wind; blue-gray eyes warm and yet mysterious, as if her secrets were peeking out but still not willing to emerge.She wore a navy pea coat, gray wool trousers, and well-cut, black suede boots, and Elaine knew they could handle a walk along the beach.

Behind her, Therese entered, and Elaine was immediately struck with a sense of the younger woman’s maturing persona.Gone was the insecure, shy innocence of several years ago.Therese now exuded a confident self-assurance; a sense that she had grown into her womanhood and claimed her home there.It was a lovely womanhood, Elaine thought.The emerald eyes with the sparkling depths; the clear, smooth skin, like a pale scarf of velvet stretched over delicately defined facial bones; the sleek brunette hair, longer now, touching her shoulders in wisps of silk.Her smile was warm, framed by those ubiquitous dimples that always begged an answering smile from Elaine.

“Oh, my,” their host stepped back and clapped her hands with joy.“Look at you two!How is it that Alicia and I—two old, wrinkled, creaky women—are lucky enough to have you young beauties as friends?”She laughed at her own observation.

“Elaine!” Therese cried, “don’t you even!”She clucked her tongue.“Don’t you even think that way!Carol and I are the lucky ones, by far.Visiting you is like a trip to see friendly gurus, if there is such a thing.”Carol had busied herself with placing a still warm quiche on the stove, but chimed in, “Swamis, Therese!They’re swamis!”

Elaine laughed amiably, taking their coats.“Oh, hush.Don’t ever mix us up with any wise people.”She laughed again.“You ought to see us bungle our way through our days here.And trying to figure out a system for Alicia, with her bulky cast and injured shoulder.Heavens, by the time we get her dressed we’re both sweating!”She motioned to them.“Come in and make yourselves comfortable while I go help Alicia.Sit by the fire with Sparky.”

At the mention of his name, the massive Newfoundland raised his head, and Therese erupted in a girlish giggle of delight.The dog lumbered to his feet, his wagging tail at odds with sleepy, coal black eyes.

Therese was thrilled.“Sparky!Come here, boy!It’s been forever since I’ve seen you!”

_________________________________________________________

Sr. Alicia could hear murmurs through the door, and she smiled despite the discomfort she was in.Therese and Carol were here! _Those dear women_ , she thought, _driving all the way out to Long Island to_ _see me._ She didn’t hardly feel worth it, but that didn’t stop her from being thankful.

It had been an extremely long winter.She’d had a terrible fall in January, slipping on the ice while walking through the Pace de Christo parking lot.Knocked out cold, she’d gone into shock and remembered nothing about the ride to the hospital in an ambulance, and her subsequent hurried trip to the emergency room.She _did_ remember the x-rays of her head, shoulder, and ankle; the mind-numbing pain; the nausea as they casted her broken right ankle and put her left arm in a sling to protect a sprained shoulder; the pounding headache and strangely metallic taste in her mouth, as if she’d swallowed blood; and the salty taste of her own tears as they slid silently down her soft, aged face.She remembered well the week in the hospital, which Alicia thought was like doing time in purgatory, despite the goodness of the medical staff.Awakened at all hours of the night for checks of her vital signs, she had arrived at her discharge having not had a restorative night’s sleep for eight days.She’d lost her appetite and was horribly constipated from the pain medicines they’d given her, which while they’d definitely worked had left the old nun so bloated she surmised this is what she would have looked like if she was ever pregnant.

But God had sent her old friend Elaine Hartsell, who came to take her to her home in Long Island to convalesce.It had been miserably cold, windy, and snowy the day she’d arrived, but the little cottage set back from the ocean was as warm and comforting as a lullaby, and the massive dog awaiting her arrival lifted her spirits immediately.Sparky had become a prayer partner of sorts.In the early mornings, he would sit dutifully at her feet in front of a roaring fire while Elaine busied herself in the kitchen.Alicia would pray the Divine Office, occasionally chanting lauds aloud, and Sparky would take those occasions to rise to his hind legs and place a huge paw on her leg, looking solemnly at her face with soulful black eyes.It always brought a smile to the nun’s face, and she was convinced the Newfie’s gentle spirit was as prayerful as her own in those moments.

Little by little the usually effervescent Franciscan had regained her energy, and while still far from being fully recovered, there were more good days now than bad.They had made it through the long northern winter into spring.Migrating birds had returned to the Long Island shore, and their songs and chirps could be heard each time Elaine dared crack a window for a bit, “just to air out this place out!”The days were growing longer, and if the breeze wasn’t any warmer yet, at least it wasn’t bringing blasts of snow or stinging ice that sounded like gunfire against the windows all night.

Alicia took a deep breath, nodding to herself.Yes, she was recovering, and if she was still clunking around in a godawful plaster cast, at least it wouldn’t be forever.Thank the Lord for bringing her this far, and for dear friends who journeyed with her, step by arduous step.

“Alicia?”There was a light knock at her door, and Elaine’s soft voice.“Alicia, are you decent?Carol and Therese are here.Quiche has arrived and the muffins are out of the oven!We should get you dressed now, dear, before Sparky eats it all.”

“Yes, come in, Elaine.I’m waiting for you,” Alicia replied, straightening her yellow dressing gown, pulling its collar close.The door opened and her housemate entered, a pleasant smile on her pretty face, her cheeks pink with the heat of the kitchen and the excitement of the morning.Elaine’s eyes twinkled merrily.“So, how are _we_ doing this morning?”

The nun burst out laughing.“Oh, _we_ are doing well, dear nurse.I’ve even done my shoulder rolls while praying.”Before Alicia could continue, Sparky stormed into the room, planted his paws on the cedar chest at the foot of the bed, and launched himself airborne like a bear in a circus act.The two women watched in stunned silence as the giant brown furball landed with a decisive _whumpf!_ He looked at each of them as if shocked at what he’d just done.

“Sparky, where’d you go, boy?” Therese appeared in the doorway of the small bedroom, with Carol on her heels. “Alicia!Good morning!Don’t mind us.”The young woman glided into the room, a playful look on her face, deep green eyes lit with an almost child-like joy.She came straight to her dear friend, stooping to place a kiss on the nun’s soft cheek.“Oh, it’s good to see you!I love you!”She kissed her again, this time on the other cheek.

Before the nun could reply, Carol entered, her long, slender legs crossing the short distance with elegant grace.Bending to kiss Alicia, she added, “Yes, don’t mind us!”Her low, throaty voice held amusement, and she gazed at the flummoxed Franciscan sister with gentle laughter glinting in her eyes.

Elaine couldn’t help but chuckle, and Sparky sat sphynx-like on the bed, taking in the women’s interactions as if he was at the theater.Alicia closed her eyes in surrender.Laughter bubbled up and over, and it was the laughter the other women knew so well--effusive, delighted, free-spirited, and loud.Elaine hadn’t heard her friend laugh this way in ages, and tears smarted her eyes.It was like the return of Old Faithful after a period of underground drought, and it seemed to warm her entire body.

“Well, isn’t this just the loveliest support group!” Alicia exclaimed.“A woman couldn’t be luckier!”

“Yes, and we’re all going to get you up and going,” Elaine replied, stepping toward the closet.“What do you want to wear?How about your navy skirt and a blouse with that heavy wool cardigan?”

Carol was peering critically at Alicia’s hair.The beautiful blond reached out to gently touch the soft, silver-gray curls, being careful not to disturb the still healing wound on the side of her head where several stitches had been removed.Her fingers were light, competent. “Your hair’s growing back, little by little.Soon it will fill that gap.”Carol paused, setting her shoulders in a resolute manner.“For now, I’ll brush out your curls if you let me.Fluff you up, Alicia, because things are…”

The nun’s chuckle was mirthful. “A mess?”

Therese found herself nodding in agreement, unable to stop herself.“Yes.Things on top of your head are definitely a mess. But Carol’s a pro at helping a woman look her best!She’ll have you fixed up in no time,” she added with a smile, and her dimples seemed carved on the surface of the sun.“And I’m going to put the quiche to warm in the oven.And put the coffee on.Does that sound good to everyone?Maybe put Sparky out on his leash for a few minutes?”

Their hostess agreed and motioned to the contented canine lounging on the bed.“Perfect.Sparky, down boy; go with Therese.Time to go out!” she commanded.The dog knew that last term well and sprang from his perch in surprisingly nimble fashion.Elaine watched him trot after Therese into the hallway, and then turned toward Alicia.“Come on, my friend.Let’s get you up and dressed and looking pretty.Good food awaits!”

_______________________________________________

They had carved their way through much of the ham, mushroom, and cheese quiche, the warm muffins, and home-baked bread with sweet cream butter, both made and bought from the wife of a local farmer Elaine knew well.Now, Therese leaned back and took another sip of coffee, eyeing the Franciscan sister seated across from her critically.

Alicia could feel the green eyes on her, though she continued pushing a forkful of food around her plate.“I’m really fine, Therese, dear.”

The brunette shook her head in surprise, her eyes widening.“I haven’t said anything!”

Now, the nun looked up; her gaze was knowing.“You’re worried about me.I can feel the weightiness of your thoughts, way over here.But I’m okay!”Even as she spoke, her young friend was shaking her head.

“But you’re still kind of pale, and thinner and—”

“And I’m getting better, darling.” Alicia interrupted.“At my age, it takes time.”

Elaine spoke up, her blue eyes gentle and understanding.“It’s hard, isn’t it though?Seeing someone you love suffer?”Alicia reached for her friend’s hand now, giving it a squeeze.Elaine offered a small smile that spoke volumes.“It’s scary…awful so much of the time.”She sighed, and it held a lifetime of experience.“I walked that journey with Maggie and it so often felt like hell.And now, with this one here!” she noted, looking at Alicia with a shake of her head.“Thank heavens you’re recovering, Alicia!”

“You’ve been on our minds so much,” Carol added quietly, and her deep voice was earnest.“If we didn’t have to work, we’d both be coming to Long Island far more often.”

“Yes!All the time!” Therese interjected, and the look on her face was so severe and fiery that Alicia laughed.

“Oh, Therese, I do love it when you get that volcanic look abut you!” she observed.“Red cheeks and eyes shooting green sparks.”The look on Alicia’s face was tender with memory.“You’ve been this way since you were a little girl,” she almost whispered, “and now look at you!A beautiful, grown woman with a woman who loves you…” She gazed from Therese to Carol and back again.“And both of you always so good to me…” Her voice trailed away, and her eyes grew moist.

“Alicia!” Therese responded, trying to speak despite the sudden tightness in her throat.“You’re family to us!”She glanced at Carol, whose blue gray eyes were soft and unwavering.“We just wish we could do more.”She shook her head, her sleek, dark hair moving in a halo around her face.

Elaine sipped her coffee, nodding her understanding.“This isn’t nothing, though.Being here…”

“Stay awake with me.”Alicia’s voice was quiet but resolute.The other women looked at her, not quite understanding, waiting for her to go on.The old Franciscan smiled, a soft, tender smile that seemed intimate and deeply felt.She took a breath, exhaling slowly. _“Stay awake with me!_ The night before Jesus died, he went to a garden to pray.He had three good friends with him, and that’s what he asked them to do.”She shook her head, looking stricken.“His heart was breaking.He was overwhelmed with grief, and that’s what he asked of his friends.‘Stay awake with me!’”

She stopped, taking her thumb and making a small sign of the cross over her heart.This simple act of faith was powerful and moving, and none of the other women spoke.

“You don’t have to be a follower of Jesus to learn from that Gospel.It’s such a profound teaching on true friendship, on true love that bears suffering…”She smiled again, looking at Carol and Elaine and Therese, her face serene, peaceful.

“Stay awake with me.Be present to me.Hold this space with me.Don’t let me suffer alone!”The nun shook her head, embarrassed at her passion. “I’m sorry…I’m going on…”

Elaine was shaking her head at Alicia’s words.“Don’t, Alicia,” she admonished.“Don’t diminish!”She took a breath, her brow furrowed in concentration.Across the table, Carol and Therese sat listening, interested.“This is all of us everywhere, isn’t it?Who gets through life without pain…loss…suffering?And if we could stay awake, if we could be present…”Her voice faded as uncertainty grew.She shrugged.“Who knows how things might change?”

Carol’s eyes were warm, as if embers glowed behind them.“I like that, Elaine.‘All of us everywhere.’It’s so true.All of us different, but all the same.All human beings facing pain.All of us everywhere…it’s a way we’re connected.”

Therese felt a stirring, too, and her cheeks grew warm.“Oh, I wish I could write a song!Something about staying awake to all of us everywhere.Wouldn’t that be lovely?”She caught her breath suddenly, a thought occurring to her, her emerald eyes bright.“But I _could_ do a book of photographs…a photographic essay about all of us everywhere…Who knows?Maybe it could wake someone up?”She sounded diffident and felt insecurities rising.

“Great idea, Therese!” Elaine chimed in, reassuring the young woman.Sensing the changing energy around him, Sparky rose to his feet from where he’d been slumbering under the table.His dark, sleepy eyes were awakening, and he nudged Elaine’s hand with his massive head.He wanted to be a part of this gathering.She smiled and looked down at the Newfie with adoring eyes.“And look at you, big boy!You want in on this, don’t you?”

Beside her, Alicia closed her eyes, fading away as the eyes of her heart turned inward.She whispered a prayer of gratitude for these dear women, for the Spirit that had come flaming into this space, setting their hearts afire. _Yes, I’m listening, Lord.I’m present.I’m awake in this moment with you._

___________________________________________________

Therese stooped to pick up a shell.She ran her fingers over the ridges, delighting in the mysterious, visceral charge that shot through her lithe body.She felt connected to the animal that had made its home here, and for this she was grateful _.All of us everywhere._ Elaine’s words rose in her consciousness.She wondered if _all of us everywhere_ meant the animal that had lived here, in her very hand; and the rocks that had been the cold sand they walked on; and the stunning Atlantic, rising and falling in gray-green, white-capped waves, endlessly, endlessly, endlessly; and the vast expanse of the sky above, sheltering this stretch of beach with clouds in a hundred shades of gray and white.

_All of us everywhere._ Why wouldn’t this include the earth and her creatures?And whatever lie out in the infinite expanse of space?This is certainly what it meant for her!

“You’re far away, darling.Where have you gone?” Carol’s husky voice cut into her awareness, and she turned to see her lovely, blond girlfriend looking at her quizzically.She was wearing a pink knit cap, and just now was pulling strands of wind-whipped hair out of her mouth.Therese thought her utterly beautiful.She looked around and seeing that the beach was empty as far as the eye could see, reached up on tiptoes to kiss the woman’s soft, cold lips.They lingered for a bit, tasting, their mingled breath a warm current amidst the cold air around them.

“Mmm,” Carol whispered, “this is lovely.Makes me wish we somewhere else.”She ended the kiss and embraced the younger woman, pulling her snug against her.“I love you, Therese.Do you know that?Have I told you lately?”She didn’t wait for an answer.“And I love being a part of your world.”The lanky blond reluctantly ended the hug, her smile warm.“Elaine and Alicia never stop being these two lovely women, always welcoming us in!”She looked around, taking in the foaming waves and long seashore, the thick stands of pine and cedar lined up like soldiers guarding the beach.

Therese returned the smile with a nod.“I know.Absolutely!I hope we’re like them in thirty years, Carol.Full of life experience and wisdom and nurturance.And depth.”She took a breath, appreciating the briny scent of the ocean.“I envy them both!It’s like life carved away any bullshit and filled it with grace.”

Carol laughed.“I think they’d both get a kick out of that description, darling.”She paused, contemplating the conversation they’d had around the breakfast table _.“All of us everywhere._ I love that…the commonality and connection.”She took Therese’s hand for a moment, massaging with her thumb.“I hope you really do put together a photographic essay!”Her voice rang with enthusiasm.“I can almost see it, sweetheart.What a lovely thing to put out into the world!”

Therese nodded her agreement, pulling her jacket more tightly around her slightly chilled body.“Yes.It would kind of be a hopeful thing, don’t you think?Portraying the connection…staying awake…”She took a deep breath, expelling it slowly, nodding into the coming twilight.“Yes, I think it could be wonderful.”

__________________________________________________________

Elaine had put more logs on the fire, and it crackled and popped, its flames shooting here and embers glowing there.She was pleased with her efforts and sat contented on the sofa, a small bowl of popcorn in her lap.Sparky lay on the floor, his big, brown head resting on her feet, and beside her Alicia munched a handful of their warm, buttery treat.Elaine looked at her friend with a warm smile.

“Can you even imagine how many bowls of popcorn we’ve had together?How long have we been doing this?You and me and Maggie…could it be forty years now?”She sounded aghast, amazed, her blue eyes shimmering in the flickering light.Putting another handful of popcorn in her mouth, she sighed.

Alicia turned, examining the dear friend next to her.“I think so,” she replied with narrowing eyes.“And I miss Maggie, too.”Reaching over, she gave the woman’s hand a gentle squeeze.

Elaine nodded, a wave of bittersweet melancholia sweeping over her.“Mm-hmm.”She fell into a silence both women understood.It was a warm quiet, a port of solace on a very long journey.After a few minutes, she smiled, turning to catch Alicia’s eye.

“We’re still staying awake to each other, aren’t we?”

The nun closed her eyes, filled with gratitude.“Always.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, for spending time with me here!  
> I am sending you all peace and comfort in these so very challenging times.


End file.
